They Blamed You
by AngelicStarFire
Summary: Looking back I realize now that I let you take the fall. I let them use you as an excuses for the decisions I've made. I don't think I want to run anymore, but I'm not sure if I could ever manage any other way. The truth is I was damaged long before you and it was inevitable the decisions I have made. If only I had known.


**Disclaimer: All characters from the PJO and HoO are owned by Rick Roirdan, I sadly do not own any of the characters. **

**R&amp;R**

**Chapter One:**

**They Blamed You**

The night sky was clear as I gazed out upon it. Tonight one could see every hidden constellation in the sky, the stories behind each of them served as a reminder of time past for me. Normally I don't slow down enough to admire the nighttime sky, no it's been years since I've actually taken the time to gaze upon it. Looking back, the last time I watch the sky like this was when we were on the run. When we both believed we held the world in our palms and nothing could stop us. Oh, those days seem like a distant memory now.

You will never understand how much I wanted to hate you. I wanted to hate you for giving in, for leaving me behind to bear the burden of your faults. How could you forget the dreams and aspirations we had? How could you so easily dismiss all of the unspoken promises of our future? I know it is pointless as you're gone now. I'll never hear the soft spoken response that could make me so easily forget all of the heartbreak you've caused. No, I'll never get to look into your mischievous crystal blue eyes again or see the sly smirk upon your face that always gave way to a series of troubling events for others in your path. It seems that even after all this time my heart still years for your embrace, in moments of silence.

Do you know that for years I could barely even think your name nonetheless speak it? Everything was a constant reminder of you and I so terribly wanted to hate you for it. Gods, many even blamed you for the decisions that I've made; but that's because they never knew the truth. I was broken long before you. I'm not sure anymore who is the cause for how damaged I am, honestly I think both parents share equal blame. I tried so hard to be nothing like my mother only to find myself looking in a mirror years later and realizing that I saw her in my reflection. That despite my best efforts and my vows I was just as naïve and gullible as she was. I never wanted to resemble her, I wanted to be better. I wanted to be enough. I wanted the world to see me, in hopes that maybe my father wherever he was would see me and that maybe he would love me.

It took me a long time to realize how foolish that dream was and that it was the main reason I was so vulnerable. My father would never love me, I would always be mistake. I cherished your promises because I did not know then what true love, deep soulful love really was. Honestly, I still don't know; but I do know that what we had was not it. I know enough now to say I wouldn't make the same mistake twice, but the truth is I probably would because the possibility is far more enticing then the regrets and "what if's" that would follow.

I know that if you were here right now that you'd be looking at me in confusion trying to figure out where exactly I was going with my rant. You would have already asked what exactly prompted me to have such a moment of truth. I watched another girl run from her past and hide from the potentially beautiful future she could have had all in her desperation to escape the pain and empty void in her chest. The pain that shone in her eyes was like looking at a marbleized replica of myself. It was potent and it permeated throughout the room as she gazed upon my patron today. I had to turn away as her friends pleaded with her just as mine had once so long ago. I turned away because in that moment my resolve broke and I wanted to scream at her to run. I wanted to tell her that this should not be her fate. That is she held on she would find the ending she was so desperately in search of, but I knew I couldn't because I am the lieutenant It is my job to be strong now. I am the model of what huntress should be in the eyes of our patron and I am obligated to hold that image now, so I turned away and allowed the guilt to consume me.

Do you think me a coward? I would. I have been running for so long now that I don't know how to slow down enough to let someone care. I am not sure I could ever let someone care because it's unfair to bare someone with the burden of fixing something that is beyond damaged. I think that Hera exacted the ultimate revenge upon me, if the hollowness I feel is anything close to watch she feels than I hold no envy nor pity for her.

The sound of rustling leaves behind me alert me to the fact that I am no longer alone. My back tenses as I ready myself to react, when a sudden wave of calm washes over me and I realize that it is my patron who stand so closely behind me.

"I had wondered where you'd gotten off to." My patron whispered softly but the sounds of reprimand were in the undertones of her voice.

"Forgive me, my lady. I allowed myself to get carried away in my thoughts." I responded.

"There is no need to apologize." My patron responded after a few moments of silence.

I turned around to find myself starring into her bright silvery eyes. They were filled with concern and understanding as if she already knew the exact reasons for why I found myself alone in the middle of this meadow tonight.

"Have you finally decided to stop running?" She asked me.

The question startled me as I had not anticipated that she would ask me such a question.

"What makes you believe I am running?" I questioned.

"Do not play coy. I know each and every one of my huntresses better than they know themselves. I know my fated huntresses before they themselves know they will one day call my camp home. Despite my hopes, I've known for some time that every huntress I open my arms to is running from at least one problem, but sometimes I get special cases. I gain huntress that resemble myself." My patron answered quietly.

I processed her words for a few moments as I allowed the depth and meaning behind her words sink in and take root in my thoughts.

"So, why do you let us join?" I now as curiously.

"I let you join because it gives each of you a new chance. It gives you the guidance and security to start again. It gives you the courage to hope for better days. I let you join because it reminds me that there is still innocence and purity in this world no matter how tarnished. I let you join because I more than anyone understand the emptiness and longing that each of you experience." She gave me a bittersweet smile before turning to walk away.

It was not until she'd almost reached the wood line before I found myself calling out to her once more.

"Why did you come find me tonight, my lady?"

She came to halt at the very edge of the wood line. For a while she stood there in silence as if she was carefully considering the weight of her next words before I heard her voice rang out across the meadow.

"Because the pain I see in your eyes little sister is like a marbleized replica of myself."

**Please R&amp;R**

**I poured a lot of emotion into this one-shot and I hope that everyone gains something from it and enjoys it. **


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